


The Story I Don't Want To Believe

by atarashiishousetsuka



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: M/M, YunJae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7320808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atarashiishousetsuka/pseuds/atarashiishousetsuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kim Jaejoong reminisces about his life with TVXQ and his life with Jung Yunho. He thinks back to how it all began... and ended. The story of Yunjae.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

Chapter 1

He was looking at me. I could feel it. He was staring at my face and how to sweat was dropping from my face. I sat there, my knees attached to my chin. I looked him in the eyes after a few seconds. A soft smile appeared on his face. It was a sweet, soft smile that most people would call 'cute'. I smiled back and decided to sit next to him on the bench.

'Do you know all chorography?' I asked him. He was still smiling.

'Yes, I studied the difficult parts and now I quite know it all. Just need to practice a few times. What about you?'

I laughed. 'It will take me ages to know these difficult dances by heart,' I replied. 'You are good at dancing, Yunho. I am not.' I gave him a wink.

'But you're trying really hard.' He put his arm around my shoulder. 'You are a good dancer, no doubt about that. Hey,' he poked me in my cheek, 'having a bit of faith in yourself wouldn't hurt, you know.'

'I know…,' I murmured.

'Well, shall we go home? The others finished dancing too.' I nodded.

\--

Together with my four other members of our South Korean boy band 'Dong Bang Shin Ki', aka 'Tong Vfang Xien Qi (TVXQ)' in China and 'Tohoshinki' in Japan, we sat down on the chairs around the dining table. I made dinner: noodles with some tofu and vegetables. An easy meal. Changmin whined about being hungry when we arrived at our apartment. He asked me to cook something easy, because I am the one who cooks most of the time. As a mother, I looked at the satisfied faces of the members. All mouths were full. My head turned left to our leader of the group, Yunho. Yunho was in a fight with some noodles which fell down from his chopsticks. I laughed at him quietly.

Junsu and Yoochun decided to play on the X-BOX after we finished eating. Yunho always helped me with doing the dishes. Changmin went to his room and locked the door. That kid always likes to be alone, but I feel that somehow he needs us around him.

Changmin is the only one to have a room for himself. Junsu and Yoochun share one and me and Yunho. I don't mind sharing a room, Yunho is a nice roommate. However, we often change roommates.

'What are you thinking about, Jae?' I turned my head and saw Yunho standing next to me with the towel in his hands. 'You've been cleaning that one single cup for five minutes now.' He grinned, but directly became serious. 'Is something wrong?' I shook my head.

'No, everything's fine.' Yunho looked at me, giving me the impression that he did not believe me.

'If there is something wrong, tell me okay? I am sure the five of us can solve your problem.' He was being the leader, doing his job. He was an honest leader. I knew these words came right from his heart.

'I know that. Thank you, Yun.' I smiled to him.

It turned around twelve 'o clock when all five of us decided to go to bed. We brushed our teeth after fighting who was in the bathroom first and said goodnight afterwards.

I changed myself in t-shirt and pulled the sheets over my cold body. Yunho came into the room and changed his clothes too. I closed my eyes, knowing that every member would be dreaming soon. We were together, that was most important to me. I opened my eyes a bit, looking at Yunho, who was laying two meters away from me in his own bed. He was already asleep. I had always been surprised how fast Yunho could fall asleep. There was the o-so manly leader: he had his mouth wide open and his Bambi plushie near his head. It was a funny sight.

I couldn't sleep that easily. My head was full of new ideas for songs, thoughts about everything you could imagine and sometimes even lyrics of our songs. I was always busy in my head.

\--

Our band was founded in 2003 by S.M. Entertainment. We were rookies, I was only 17 years old. We were just unknown people who wanted to sing and dance. The five of us have been working for three years now, and look at us. We even debuted in Japan last year. I couldn't help to feel a bit proud of ourselves.

Sometimes I asked myself if the others thought about these things as well. Memories of the past. Some were good, some were bad.

I know my members really, really well. Junsu is the cutie with the wonderful voice. We often call him a dolphin, due to his high singing ability. He gives us a good feeling and sets the mood with his jokes. Just like Yoochun, by the way. He really is a clown, knowing exactly the right time to make joke. There is also this other side of him. You can talk with him for hours about a problem or something seriously. He always listens.

And then Changmin. The maknae, also known as baby, of the group. Changmin is the youngest and the tallest. He is a good-looking guy, just like all the others. He is terribly good at teasing. Normally I would tease him when we were younger, but now it's the opposite. I am the one he likes to tease the most. But I don't mind. He is fun, I couldn't do without him. Last but definitely not least is Yunho. Jung Yunho. He is the leader of our boy band. Helping us with everything, there is nothing Yunho can't do. Yunho has lots of responsibility as the leader. I often want to help him, but then he says he will be fine. I am the eldest, but I always felt like Yunho was, instead of me.

Yunnie is the member I know longest. We met in 2001, even before our debut. We were like… yeah, how do you call it… gangsters, maybe? Well, a really light form of gangsters. Sloppy boys. I already liked him then, he was friendly and nice. After meeting a few times, I didn't see him again, until we met at S.M. Entertainment when we became trainees. It was good to see him again.

The other members I know just from the day we started to practice hard. We were lively children, little Changmin was only 15.

Sometimes I wished we could go back in time. Each day full of expectations and waiting for us to make our debut.

\--

I heard Yunho getting out of his bed. It was likely he had to pee. I rolled over to look at the time on the alarm clock. It was two 'o clock.

After a few minutes of silence, the sound of a flushing toilet was heard and Yunho tiptoed back to our room. He was being really quiet, trying not the wake the other members.

'Did I wake you?' Yunho asked me when he saw my eyes were open.

'No, I was already awake. Can't sleep.' He laid down, turned his body in my direction and put the sheets back on him. I yawned.

'You're too busy in your head, Jaejoongie. The motherly thoughts about our members are troubling you again?' He saw right through me. I was a bad liar, so I did not deny it.

'Ye-,' I began.

'I can see it,' he said and chuckled, not even waiting for my whole answer because he already knew. 'You need to get enough rest. Our whole week is planned full of activities. At 11 'o clock we need to film Heroine 6 tomorrow.'

'It's all really busy. Oh, I wished we could do something together with the five of us. Like last time in Disneyworld in Tokyo. It made me feel so happy.'

'Yes, it made me feel good too. It was definitely fun,' Yunho said and in the dark I could sense his smile that he had on his face. 'I will ask the manager to plan something like that for us again.'

'You will?!' I asked surprised.

'Only if you promise me you are gonna sleep now.'

'Promise!' I squealed. He laughed.

'I am sure he will plan something like that if I ask for it. Otherwise I will plan it on my own,' he kept laughing.

'I'll make it a promise too then.' He held out his hand and I replied it with a handshake.

'Thanks, Yunnie.'


	2. The Turnabout

Chapter 2

I was wakened by the sunlight shining on my face. Junsu had opened the curtains.   
‘Wake up, hyung! I am hungry. Please, cook something for me.’   
I let my head fall back into the pillow and murmured a bit. 

After five minutes with an annoying Junsu beside my bed, I decided to get out. Junsu made a jump of joy. I saw that Yunho wasn’t in the room anymore.   
‘I first need to take a shower, you know,’ I told him.   
‘Naww… ok,’ he replied.   
That moment, Changmin walked out of his room and went straight into the bathroom. He wasn’t aware of the conversation between Junsu and me just now. Junsu ran to the bathroom door immediately.  
‘Changmin! Hey! Jae was first! Get your ass out here right now!’ he started screaming at the door. There was a silence and a monotone ‘no’ was heard. After that the sound of falling water entered our ears.   
‘I think you will need to wait for a little bit longer now,’ I told Junsu and went back to my room.   
‘No, hyung, please. You can perhaps just make breakfast now?’   
I chuckled.   
‘Why don’t you ask Yunho or Yoochun?’ I covered myself with the sheets again.   
‘But they suck at cooking, just like me.’ He pouted sadly. I felt like a mother, telling her little boy that no was no. Did I mind feeling like a mother? Not really. After seeing Junsu’s pout becoming sadder, I stood up and walked towards the kitchen. 

We sat, just like yesterday and all the days before that, around the dinner table. Yunho at the head, showing us our schedules that the manager had given him. Meanwhile Junsu was enjoying his food I cooked for him and the others. I felt glad when I saw that the food was eaten with delight. 

Around nine, the manager picked us up and drove s to the film studio of KBS. There would the filming of Heroine 6 take place. I tried to sleep a bit more, resting my head on Yunho’s shoulder. I always did that. Yunho had his headphones on and I could hear a little of what he was listening. It was a calm, soft melody. It became my lullaby, helping me to fall asleep.   
\--  
The recording was fun and it went well. Things like these had become a normality.  
After we finished, we greeted everyone and went our way to the changing room. In our changing room we relaxed a bit. Yunho got his bag out of his locker. We all had our own locker for our bags, so that our stuff would not get stolen during the show. There were even security guards standing for our door, now and during the show.   
I decided to fresh up my face and walked to the washbasin. I saw Junsu laying with his eyes closed on one of the sofas through the mirror. Yoochun and Changmin were talking. We were all really tired. I dried my face with a towel which was next to the washbasin. Yunho coughed.   
‘Are you okay?’ I asked him and turned around.   
‘Ah, yes, don’t worry. Thanks,’ he answered.   
After a few seconds he started coughing extremely loud.   
‘Hey, don’t choke.’ Yoochun rubbed him on his back. Yunho did not stop coughing. It became louder and louder. I thought his longs were coming out. He started vomiting. We all looked at him with shocking faces. Blood came out, together with his last meal.   
‘Hyung! Are you okay?! What is this?!’ Junsu panicked and held the bin under Yunho’s mouth. I was panicked, tied to the ground. I just stood there, looking at Yunho. Changmin rushed to find our manager. Yunho continued vomiting. More blood came out now.  
Without even thinking, I lifted Yunho on my back. I was so blank, that I didn’t even feel his weight. He was like a feather on that moment. I opened the door harshly. Outside, I ran though the hordes of girls standing outside. I heard squealing and shouting. The security guards who were standing for our door, I had pushed away. They were following me now. I felt Yunho’s vomit slip down in the back of my T-Shirt. I met up with the manager and pushed Yunho into the car softly. The manager sat down in the driver’s seat and immediately started engine. I wanted to sit next to Yunho, to hold him until we would arrive at the hospital. The manager forbid me. Changmin pulled me and Junsu back from the car. He understood that it would only cause more trouble if we went with him. The car left with high speed and the only thing I could was cursing.   
I punched Changmin, not even caring about the pain I would cause him. The security guards walked with us back to our changing room. We showed no emotion to group of girls standing outside. They were squealing and shouting again. They couldn’t have seen what had happened at the car. Fortunately, that parking plot was under the ground, only allowed to celebrities and workers there. It was highly protected.   
Changmin grabbed my hand and dragged me back to our changing room. Yoochun and Junsu followed us in a slow pace.   
I was pushed on the couch. Changmin sat next to me, he looked at me with wide open eyes. It was terrifying. We both looked at the table with Yunho’s bag and clothes on it. A bottle of orange juice stood next to the bag. Yunho had only drank half of it. I cursed loud. The words were coming out my mouth like a waterfall. I am sure Changmin had heard words that he had never heard before.   
‘I will kill that damn bitch! Kill! Kill!’ I cried and bonked with my fists on the table more than ten times. I couldn’t feel my fists hurt.   
Junsu was sitting on one side of a sofa, making himself small by putting his arms around his knees. Sobs were heard. Changmin could only shake his head with his eyes closed. Yoochun was walking in circles, staring at the plafond with his mobile phone in his hand. I never felt so terribly lost in my life. I was hopeless. I couldn’t do anything for Yunho. I just had to wait. 

After an hour, we got a call from our manager. Yoochun directly answered it and put it on the speaker.   
‘Hyung, please tell us, is Yunho okay?!’ Changmin asked.   
‘Yes, he is fine now. The doctors emptied his stomach with a pump. The content of his stomach is examined now and-.’  
‘We found a bottle of orange juice f which Yunho drank from. We all have this feeling that there, yeah…,’ Changmin started but didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t want to. We looked at each other. There was silence on the other side of the phone.   
‘We let that examine too, so that they can compare it with the content of Yunho’s stomach. Don’t worry. Yunho is alright now.’  
‘May we come to the hospital now?’ I asked. Again a pause.   
‘Euhm… give Yunho some time, alright? You can come at 5 o’ clock, okay?’ We looked at the clock which hung on the other side of the room. It was two ‘o clock. ‘Please rest a bit. Changmin, please drive the others home and eat something. After that, please call me when you arrive at the hospital. So that’s around 5. I will make sure that there are security guards. Clear?’   
‘Yes, hyung,’ we said in chorus. 

Changmin drove us home, just like our manager told him to do. No one spoke during the 50-minute-drive. I looked outside, putting my arm on the edge of the window side. I put my head on my arm. What the hell happened just now? It went so fast that I almost can’t recall what happened. Yunho had not deserved this, so tell me, why had it to be Yunho?! He never did anything wrong, always caring about others and putting himself last. When we saw the bottle of orange juice, I already knew. Someone, most likely an anti-fan put something in Yunho’s drink. What a bitch! Bitch! I knew it was a girl, I couldn’t be wrong.   
I closed my eyes and felt my hands form into fists. I wanted to scream Yunho’s name. Kill that rotten girl. I was definitely serious at the moment. I was so angry and pissed that I couldn’t control my emotions. I was surprised how Changmin could collect himself so well. Yoochun was crying quietly since the manager called.  
Changmin was crying without tears, trying to focus on the road.   
Yoochun sat next to Changmin. He watched how Changmin drove and I had never seen him so depressed before. Junsu was only sobbing, crying louder by each sob. I pulled him close to me, letting him sit on Yunho’s place in the middle. I cried too, maybe even louder than Junsu. We sobbed in harmony. 

We arrived at our home around half past three. Normally Yunho would open the front door for us and close it again after we were all inside. While doing that, he would tell us that we did a good joy that day. Now I opened the door myself. I proposed to make a meal, although I wasn’t in the mood. The 3 other members said they weren’t hungry.

It felt ages before we left the apartment to go to the hospital. We had been sitting around the table, in total only saying twenty words. In the time we had been at home, one of the substitute-managers of S.M. Entertainment had come to comfort us. He drove us to the hospital. While he drove, he kept saying everything was fine with Yunho and that he soon would be okay. We didn’t need to worry. His comforting-techniques made me sick. 

When we drove into the parking garage, Junsu called our manager who was with Yunho in the hospital.   
We stepped out, as two security guards came to our car. They greeted us by a ninety degree bow. After that, they led us out of the parking garage. The two told us to walk quickly. When we entered the hospital, it was very quiet. The nurses, who walked around near the entrance, looked at us. Some were pointing at us or telling others to look. They all noticed us and knew who we were. One of the two security men pushed the button for the elevator. The substitute manager, he introduced himself as Park Min-woo, stood behind us.   
I wanted to see Yunho so badly. Is he really okay now or would our manager lie to us to keep us calm? I would only know if I saw our leader Yunho.   
We went into the elevator. I hated silence, especially now. Most of the people who were with us in the elevator, I didn’t know. No one said something. Me neither because I wouldn’t know what to say.   
The security guards knew where Yunho’s room was. The seven of us walked through long hallways. Sometimes you heard a kid yelling. The two men walking in front of us stopped for a closed door. All curtains in front of the windows of the room were closed. We couldn’t get a glimpse of Yunho. Mr. Substitute manager knocked on the door. Footsteps were heard and the door was opened by our manager.   
‘Come in,’ he said and held the door open door us. We nodded.  
It was very weird, but you would expect that we would all run in to look what Yunho’s condition would be. We did exactly the opposite.   
We stood there, in front of the door, and I felt anxious. Suddenly I got the thought of not seeing Yunho was perhaps the best option for me. I shook my head. How can I think something ridiculous as that?  
I was the first one to step into the room. I saw Yunho directly after I turned by head to the right when I came in. The others came in and saw him too. He was laying in a bed with white sheets. It made him look paler than he already was. An infuse was attached to his right arm. He smiled at us.   
‘Hi guys,’ he said. I tried to smile back. ‘You can come closer. I don’t bite, you know.’ He laughed.  
I came aware that the 4 of us stood in a horizontal line three meters from his bed. I rushed over to one side of his bed. I sat down and looked at him. He turned his head to me. ‘Y-Yunho, don’t ever scare me like that again. I was damn worried,’ I cried, grabbing his hand and not letting go. The others rushed to his bed too. Yoochun started crying, just like me. Yunho squeezed my hand and looked at us all. ‘Don’t cry guys, I will soon be fully recovered.’ Silence.  
‘We were shocked, hyung!’ Changmin told Yunho. Yoochun nodded. ‘I was shocked too, but I feel better now. The doctors emptied by stomach.’ The pale Yunho swallowed.   
‘Is it because of the content of that bottle of orange juice?’ Junsu asked him.   
‘That is not sure, I just gave the bottle to the doctors and they will examine it.’ The manager answered Junsu’s question.   
‘I think it is high likely that something was put in my drink. I wouldn’t just react like this. I thought the bottle was put on my locker by a staff member,’ Yunho commented.   
‘That would mean that someone-,’ Changmin began.   
‘Stop it, Changmin,’ I ordered him. Silence. Again.  
‘When may he leave?’ Yoochun broke the silence.   
‘Maybe in three days, maybe in a week. It depends on his health condition. Also, I will talk to the media because I have already been called like a hundred times with questions about what happened. Some fans saw you too at the entrance of the film studio, of course.’  
‘Yes, hyung.’  
‘Let’s give Yunho some rest and leave at eight o’ clock, okay? Park Min-woo will drive you back home.’ Our manager left together with Min-woo.   
‘I am so glad you’re fine, Yunho.’ I hang my body over the resting my head on Yunho’s belly.   
‘Jae, don’t worry about me too much. I am more worried about you. You seem damn tired. All because of me, I guess. I wish I hadn’t drunk that bottle.’ He stroked my hair.   
‘Don’t blame yourself!’ Junsu and I commented at the same time.   
‘You didn’t know something was in there,’ Yoochun said.   
‘True,’ Yunho admitted.   
We never felt uncomfortable around each other. Now we were. Somehow I guess we all felt relieved but still worried and didn’t know how to express this.   
‘Shall I get you all some food?’ Changmin asked us.   
‘I am not allowed to eat something. I will have to wait for a few hours,’ Yunho told Changmin, ‘but please get some food for the others.’ Changmin replied with a nod.  
‘I spotted a kind of little café near the entrance. I will be going then, be right back.’ The tallest member left.  
‘You four haven’t eaten, have you?’ Yunho asked us. He saw right through us. He was definitely good at these things.  
I nodded and stood up, surprising the other members. Looking out of the window, I saw some girls standing near the entrance with red T-Shirts on and I sighed. Changmin was right, although I did not want to believe and face the truth. It was very obvious that someone had put something in that juice with the intention to hurt or even kill Yunho. I was pretty sure that thought had past Yunho his intelligent brain as well.   
‘Is there something interesting outside, Jae?’ Yunho asked me. I turned around.  
‘No, I just needed to walk a little. Stretch my legs for a bit, you know,’ I lied. What kind of stupid lie was that?! I couldn’t think properly. 

After twenty minutes, Changmin came back. He got four plastic boxes with ramen. I handed out the chopsticks which were given together with the boxes. Changmin handed out the boxes with ramen. Junsu immediately began to eat. I saw Yunho looking at Junsu and he smiled. ‘That looks delicious,’ he said, still watching Junsu. ‘Would you like some?’ I held the chopsticks for his mouth. ‘No, I really can’t. Although I would like some, of course. Thanks though.’ He winked.  
‘I will eat half of it, so you can eat the rest later,’ I told him.  
‘No, no, please it! You need it. You seem to get skinnier each day,’ he replied and coughed after replying to me.  
‘Sure?’   
‘Yeah.’

The mood was getting more comfortable when it almost turned eight o’ clock.   
‘I will call the manager, so that he can send Min-woo to us,’ Yoochun proposed and took his cellphone out of his pocket.   
I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay. What if something happened to Yunho when we just left? I would never forgive myself for that.   
‘I… won’t come with you, guys.’ I said that looked away from the others. All the members, including Yunho, were surprised.   
‘You need to come with us, hyung. The manager told us to leave at eight,’ Junsu said and stood up to get his coat.   
‘I can’t. Tell the manager that I will stay here.’ The members know that when I have got something in my head, an idea or proposal, that they couldn’t get it out that easily.   
‘What does Yunho think about it?’ Changmin asked and we all turned towards Yunho. I saw him thinking, which made me really nervous. ‘Yunho-,’ I began.  
‘I think you can stay, but we first need to ask the doctor,’ Yunho answered, not letting me finish my sentence. I nodded. I understood.  
‘But hyung, the manager said-.’  
‘Junsu, if Jaejoong is desperate to stay here, it is all fine by me.’ Junsu was not convinced by those words.   
‘We’ll be going then,’ Yoochun said. Changmin and Junsu nodded.  
I spoke with the doctor. He had some doubts, however, he gave in when I promised that I would let Yunho sleep and wouldn’t make a lot of noise.   
The three other members left the hospital. They would tell our manager about me staying with Yunho. Tomorrow I only had a photo-shoot and dance training, but I wanted to rearrange that to some other time.

I closed the door behind the three guys.   
‘That’s the Jae I know. Not listening to anyone when he has got something in his head,’ Yunho said to me. I walked back to his bed.   
‘You know me too well,’ I responded and sat down. ‘You-.’   
I swallowed and turned my head away.   
‘Hey, Jaejoongie, don’t cry,’ Yunho said when he heard sobs.   
‘I-I can’t h-help it.’ He pulled me into his arms. ‘I am shocked s-seeing you like this.’  
‘Everything is fine now, so you don’t need to worry.’ I shut my eyes for a while.  
‘You know, I was really worried I couldn’t see you again,’ Yunho admitted.  
‘Don’t say that,’ I commented, still with my eyes closed and being held by Yunho.   
‘I asked the manager,’ he said after a short silence. I looked up, meeting is eyes.   
‘What do you mean?’ I asked him.  
‘You don’t remember?’ He saw me shaking my head. ‘I asked the manager to let us go on a trip with the five of us,’ he said. I remembered.  
‘When did you ask that?!’   
‘When I was here in the hospital and you hadn’t arrived yet.’ I still looked him in the eyes. After a few seconds I hit his hand softly.   
‘You should be thinking about your health, not about something I wanted!’ I told him. To be honest, I felt joyful in the inside. Imagining the five of us together somewhere.  
‘Don’t worry.’ He patted me on my head. A smile appeared on my face. Yunho had always been full of surprises.   
‘Thanks, Yunnie.’ He smiled back. I soon felt asleep in his arms, hanging all over his bed with my body.


	3. Comfort

Chapter 3

I felt my head getting moved carefully. I slowly opened my eyes, finding out that Yunho was moving me.   
‘I’m sorry I waked you up.’  
‘Is something wrong? Are you not feeling well?’ I sat straight up and felt some pain in my back from laying all over the bed while I still sat in my chair.   
‘No, I just need to pee.’  
‘Are you okay or do you need help?’ I helped him to get up.   
‘I appreciate you concern, but I can pee on my own,’ he laughed and put his hand on my shoulder for a second.  
I stayed awake and waited for Yunho to come back. Meanwhile I did some stretch exercises for my back.   
‘Is your back okay?’ He asked me when he saw me doing weird poses.  
‘Well, it hurts a bit.’  
‘You should sleep in that bed over there before your back gets ruined.’ Yunho pointed at the bed that was standing two meters away from us.   
‘You fell asleep very fast. I didn’t know you were asleep yet, so I kept talking but you didn’t reply,’ he said with a laugh and climbed back in his bed. I was glad that the infuse was removed last night, it gave me goosebumps. ‘I didn’t want to wake you, so I just let you sleep.’  
‘I’m so sorry.’ I apologized.  
‘Haha, don’t worry Jae. My story must have been really boring.’ He made the joke and rubbed my back.   
‘I am sure that was not the case,’ I answered. I actually was really curious about what Yunho told me back then when I was asleep.   
‘What is the time, by the way?’ I asked. Yunho looked at the alarm clock on the bedside.   
‘Almost three o’ clock, so let’s sleep, okay?’ I nodded. We could see each other vaguely because of the dark.   
I put my shoes next to the bed, laid down and put the covers over my body.   
‘I bet the manager will be mad at me for not listening.’  
‘I will explain everything to him,’ Yunho answered.   
‘No, no, it is something that I will have to discuss,’ I commented directly after Yunho.  
‘I am glad you are with me. I feel comfortable. If I had to be here alone I would have panicked,’ Yunho admitted. He said it with a tone that revealed that he wasn’t sure if it would be okay to say these things as a leader. Yunho knew he could tell me everything. He showed me more sides of himself besides his ‘leader attitude’’. Now, that attitude was fading away.  
‘I will be as long as you want me here,’ I told him. ‘I didn’t want to go because I didn’t want to leave you here.’ That was one of the reasons though. The fact that I couldn’t forgive myself for leaving if something would happen to him, I didn’t tell him.  
‘Thanks, Jaejoongie.’

\--

Silence. I thought Yunho had fallen asleep.  
‘You know, we have been friends for a long time,’ he suddenly said.  
‘5 years,’ I said.   
‘I can still picture you as a trainee at S.M. Entertainment,’ Yunho laughed. ‘Your voice was changing, so it would crack when you sang. It was pretty funny.’ I remembered that of course.   
‘You remember that?’ I asked him.  
‘I do, haha. I would tease you a bit with it.’  
‘So you admit that you were making fun of my voice, Jung Yunho?!’ I tried to be serious, but ended up laughing.  
‘Yes, I admit,’ Yunho said and folded his arms, also trying not to laugh.   
‘You were like that too, Yunho!’  
‘No, I wasn’t.’ Yunho knew from himself that he was lying.   
‘Yes, your voice was funny too!’ I stepped out of bed, walking to his bed.   
‘Don’t assault the injured, please,’ Yunho commented with a serious voice and pointed at me.   
‘You started it!’ I couldn’t laugh and walk at the same time and rested my arm on the rod of the end of his bed.   
‘You never changed, you know that? I always loved to tease you a bit.’ Yunho helped the laughing me to sit on the bed.   
‘You are so mean, Yunnie.’ I poked him softly in his belly.   
‘I wouldn’t dare to be mean to you, Kim Jaejoong,’ he said with puppy eyes.   
‘I can’t get mad at you,’ I told him and rubbed his head.   
‘That’s good,’ Yunho said dryly.   
I softly slapped him on his shoulder after his comment.  
‘Hey! No assault in the hospital!’ Yunho laughed. ‘I am terribly injured!’ I took my hand from his shoulder.   
‘True.’ I paused. ‘I will leave the assaulting for a next time when you are better.’ Yunho seemed relieved, but laughed again after I finished my sentence.   
‘I am so sorry,’ he said with a cutely pout, with the intention to let himself be forgiven. I could only smile at him.

\--

‘We haven’t talked like this for ages,’ Yunho said after a while. I sat on the edge of his bed.  
‘I am so glad you are with me.’ He hugged me from behind. I felt warm inside.   
‘Anytime,’ I replied. He hugged me tighter.   
We sat in the hugging position for a while. I felt his warmth. I hadn’t hugged someone like this for a long time. I turned my head to face Yunho. He smiled to me after I saw him yawning.   
‘You are sleepy, aren’t you?’ I poked the tip of his nose.   
‘Yes,’ he admitted. ‘But only a little.’   
‘Come on, let me put you in bed properly,’ I said, turning my body in his direction and grabbing his arms. He suddenly pulled me closer into his arms.   
‘Please, let me just hug you for a while.’ I was surprised.   
‘When hyung drove me to the hospital, I got this feeling of hopelessness that I had never experienced before. I thought I was going to die in the car and leave the other members and you behind.’ He did not let go of me.   
‘You did not die.’  
‘I am thankful I have you and the other members. You always make me think positively.’  
‘You make us feel happy too, Yun. We can’t do without you. I can’t do without you.’   
Minutes passed and we remained silent. No words were needed to make us feel comfortable. Slowly, Yunho was more hanging into me. I looked at his face. His eyes were closed.   
I pushed him back a little and put my hand behind his head to let his head fall softly in the pillow. I put the covers over his body. He was sleeping peacefully.   
I stepped in his bed and laid down next to him. It was too small for us two, but I did not mind. I wanted to be with Yunho. We all went through a difficult time. We needed each other to comfort ourselves.   
‘Goodnight, Yun,’ I whispered and I felt asleep faster than ever before. 

\--

I woke up earlier than Yunho. It was about eight o’ clock. I looked to my right, where I looked towards Yunho’s back. He had turned himself in his sleep. I put an arm around him. It was unbelievable how comfortable and relaxed I felt. I was sure that when a nurse would come into our room, she’d be shocked and would order me to leave his bed immediately. But for now, I stayed. It was warm and cozy.   
Yunho and I have always been good friends. He would hug me when I felt sad and it was the same the other way around. Many people felt weird around us when we touched, except our members. The five of us were brothers. I loved them to death. Especially Yunho. He was like my twin-brother or best friend. 

After a few minutes, Yunho moved a little and in the end, turned around and faced me. His eyes were slowly opening.  
‘Good morning, Yunho,’ I said with a soft voice. He smiled sleepy.  
‘Hi, Jae-.’ A yawn came out. It was rather cute, I admit.   
‘Did you sleep well?’ He nodded. ‘Feeling a bit better?’  
‘My throat and stomach still hurt a little, but I am fine. I also feel less sweaty and warm.’  
‘Good to hear.’ I stepped out of bed, walking towards the bathroom which was connected to the sleeping room. I locked the door when I heard a nurse coming into the room where Yunho was.   
‘How are you feeling, Mr. Jung?’ she asked him nicely. I peed and washed my hands, meanwhile I listened to the conversation.   
‘I am feeling perfectly fine. When can I go home?’   
She laughed, just like me. What a liar he was! He just told me his throat and stomach still hurt.  
‘You want to go home that badly?’ Yunho laughed too. ‘I still think you need to be hospitalized for a few more days.’ Yunho gave in.   
‘Okay then, I guess I do not have any other choice.’   
I opened the door and greeted the nurse. She knew that I would be staying.  
‘Good morning, Mr. Kim,’ she said to me and put a glass of water on Yunho’s bedside.   
‘Good morning to you too,’ I replied and smiled to her.   
‘The doctor will visit you in any moment. Also, your breakfast will be served in about half an hour. You get an adapted size, so the doctor can see how your stomach will react. Would you like a plate too, Mr. Kim?’  
I thought about it. I did not like food in hospitals.   
‘No, thank you ma’am.’   
‘Alright then, if you need anything, just call me with the beeper.’   
Yunho nodded. ‘Thank you.’  
She vanished quickly.   
‘Are you hungry?’ I asked Yunho and sat on the edge of his bed.   
‘Not really, to be honest. But I know that if I don’t eat my breakfast, you will force me to. You would even feed me in the most extreme situation.’ He laughed when he said it. I laughed together with him.  
‘It’s good that you know me that well.’ I pointed at him.  
‘Of course I do. By the way, are the others coming today?’ Yunho wanted the other members to come too.  
‘I will call them, but first you make sure your whole breakfast plate is empty,’ I warned him.  
‘I promise,’ he answered me with a cute voice, making me giggle.

As suspected, the manager called me. It was right after Yunho got his breakfast and the doctor visited him. The manager was, of course, angry at me. He understood that I wanted to be with Yunho, but that I first had to discuss it with him. I was irresponsible. He told me that he was busy writing his speech for the press conference about what happened to Yunho.   
‘Can you give the phone to Yunho?’ he asked me.  
‘Yes, one moment.’ I handed to phone to Yunho.  
‘Hello, hyung. Yes, I am a lot better now. I am pretty sure I can leave soon. The doctor said that I only had to stay two more days.’ Silence for a while. Yunho was listening what our manager said.  
‘I agreed to have Jaejoong staying with me. He was really worried and I was glad someone was with me. Yes, I know. Will you be coming today? Okay. And the other members? Alright. See you in the afternoon then. Yes, I will. Bye.’ He hung up and handed me the phone back.   
‘Ah, thanks.’ I took it back.   
‘So, he said the others are coming today?’  
‘Yes, he said he forced them to train in the gym for a few hours to let them relax a bit. They will come in the evening. The manager will come in the early afternoon to show us the speech he will be giving at 5 o’ clock.’  
‘Okay.’ I walked to the window. ‘Is it okay that I am staying with you of did he tell you to send me away?’ I sighed.  
‘Jae, I really want you to stay with me. He did not order me to send you away or anything and if he had done something like that, I would not have listened. The thing is that he told me to keep an eye on you because he is also worried about you, and not just me.’ I turned around. He had this serious expression on his face again.   
‘I will keep an eye on you too, Yun. Now, let’s get started eating, alright?’ I changed the subject and took the chopsticks off the plate.   
I took some squid of the plate and held it in front of his mouth. He grinned.   
‘Say aaaah.’   
‘Aaaaaah.’   
‘Chew well, I don’t want you to be chocking,’ I warned him.   
‘Yes, umma,’ he said and smiled widely.   
‘Good,’ I said, taking something else from the plate with the chopsticks.

\--

An hour after breakfast, Yunho complained about stomachache. I directly called the nurse. Shortly after I called her, she came to the conclusion that his stomach had to get used to food again, since he had not eaten for almost a whole day. She advised him to drink water.   
I was sleepy and thirsty. I got myself some juice from a vending machine in a hallway, after giving some girls my autograph. Then I went back to the room. I was glad that we had a security guard in front of our room.   
When Yunho saw me drinking the yellow juice, he became as white as a sheet.   
‘What’s wrong?! Do I need to call a nurse?!’ He shook his head wildly.  
‘Are you being careful?’ he asked me.   
It took me a few seconds to know what he was talking about. I had doubted what juice I would take, but I liked orange juice more than apple juice. Of course I had the situation of yesterday well in my head. I did not want to scare myself and I wasn’t scared to choose it either. There was just no chance that someone had been opening that vending machine to put something in a drink. Maybe I unconsciously had just chosen it on purpose.   
‘It came from the vending machine, so don’t worry. I had to use all my force to open the damn bottle’. Yunho said nothing. I tried to make a joke, but it did not really change his mood. ‘You should drink your water, Yun. The nurse advised you that and she did not put it here on your bedside for nothing.’ He seemed to hesitate whether he should get the glass or not.   
‘Are you afraid?’ I asked him softly and came to sit next to his on his bed. He looked at me with a confusing and kind of sad face.   
‘I will get you a new glass of water, but you should drink it then, okay?’ I did not wait for answer and took the glass of the bedside and refilled it in the bathroom, after washing the glass a few times. I knew nothing was wrong with the water. You could clearly see if someone had put something in it. However, I could understand Yunho too. It is a terrifying thought that someone tried to kill you. I felt myself getting angry again, so I walked out the bathroom fast. I handed the glass to Yunho.   
‘I washed it four times,’ I said, hoping he would drink the water now. He drank only a quarter of it, though. After he drank, he tried to smile to me. Somehow he wanted to thank me or show me nothing was wrong. He could not smile, instead he started sobbing quietly. It ended in crying, the tears rolling over his face. It was like he had an emotional breakdown. Yunho never cried, well only is he was sure he was alone. Once, I came in our bedroom and found him crying. The three others members went somewhere and I came home earlier from a party and was shocked as hell.   
I took him in my arms, rubbing his back.   
‘Ssssh,it’s okay,’ I said with a soft voice. I laid my hand in Yunho’ neck. He felt extremely warm. ‘Are you warm?’ I asked him, still rubbing his back.  
‘A bit,’ he said, trying to stop crying.   
‘You should rest well. Try to sleep okay? You really need it. Here, let me help you.’ I took his pillow and put it in the right position and helped him to lay down. He was like a little child, surrounded by the sheets. ‘I will be right here in this room, so don’t worry. Just sleep.’ He nodded and pulled my arm when I wanted to walk away.   
‘Jae..,’ he began.   
I stood there, near his bed with a slight surprised face. He was holding my hand. ‘I wouldn’t know what I would do without you. Thank you, Jae.’ He said it with such honesty that it made my heart flutter a bit. I squeezed his hand.  
‘Anything for you, Yunho.’ He let go of my hand and smiled at me.


	4. Need

Chapter 4

I sat on a chair next to the hospital bed. I had been sitting there for over two hours.   
While I waited for Yunho to wake up, I thought about things which crossed my mind. Yunho definitely had to stay for a while. He was not feeling well, but he denied it. I knew he did. Also, I thought about the reaction on the bottle of orange juice and that he thanked me and said he was glad that I was with him. He even cried. Yunho was not okay and I would stay if he wants me too. To be honest, I wanted to stay too.   
The manager came in the afternoon. When he came in, I heard the security guard greeting him at the door. Our hyung saw Yunho sleeping and smiled.   
‘Good thing he is sleeping now.’ I nodded.  
‘He felt extremely warm. I think he has fever.’  
‘The doctor visited him in the morning, right?’  
‘Yes, they did a few tests and gave him an adapted size of breakfast,’ I whispered, trying not to wake the injured man sleeping in his bed next to me. Hyung got a chair for himself and sat down next to me.   
‘I rearranged your schedule,’ he said and gave me a paper with my new schedule. I had nothing planned for the next two days.   
‘Thank you, hyung.’ He nodded twice, saying like: ‘It’s fine’.  
‘Besides Yunho now, I am also worried about you, Jaejoong. You seem to get really skinny. Do you eat enough? Have you yet eaten today?’ I saw him looking at me with sharp eyes.   
‘No, but I will. I do think I eat enough, though.’  
‘You should eat more, beginning now,’ he said and handed my some packaged sandwich he got from his bag.  
‘Got that?’ he said with little sarcasm.  
‘Yes, hyung.’  
‘I do understand that you wanted to stay here, Jaejoong, but I need to be fair to all members. I am sure the others wanted to stay here if they had the chance to, but you really are the one standing your ground.’ He laughed a bit after finishing his sentence. I smiled.   
‘That is true, I guess.’  
‘I will give you but also the others two days off. You can choose if you want to stay here or go home. Please tell me first, though.’  
‘I will stay here.’ He patted me on my shoulder.  
‘Okay then. Oh, I almost forgot why I came here for.’ The manager got something out his pocket. ‘I made a copy of the speech that I will be giving today for the press. It will take place this afternoon. You can read it.’ He handed me the paper.   
‘Okay.’ I folded the paper open and began to read it.   
Its beginning was about what exactly happened and about Yunho’s condition. Some things that we knew weren’t included in the speech. It was not necessary for others to know. It made the speech a little superficial.  
‘Some of the test results are also included. I will show it the other members too. The results are on this paper that I just got from the nurse.’ He handed me another paper with the logo of the hospital on top. I read it carefully.  
‘So, it is clear that there was indeed something in the drink,’ I concluded.  
‘Yes, the orange juice consisted also of superglue. Yunho had indeed drunk the liquid and that caused him his bad health condition now. Some of the results I have also put into the speech.’ I read further. There was indeed a part about some test results and the rest was about the police case.’  
‘I hope the culprit will be found soon,’ I said and handed the paper back to hyung.  
‘I really hope so too. This person is sick in the head.’ I agreed with that statement.  
‘I’d better go now. Let Yunho sleep, he needs it. You too, by the way. Try sleeping. The others will come in the evening. Don’t talk with Yunho about the test results yet. The doctor will come to him soon to tell him personally. Ah, and make sure Yunho’s phone is on, I called his mother and she will try to call him today.’  
I understood.   
‘See you later,’ I said.  
‘Alright, see you later. I’ll call you.’  
‘Okay, bye.’ He vanished.

It was really boring in the room. The doctor had not visited us yet. Also, Yunho was still asleep and had not noticed anything of the visit of the manager. Sometimes I thought he was awake because he was turning himself, but after I said his name, there was no reply and I heard snoring.   
I tried sleeping, but I couldn’t. I wondered about the culprit. Would this person know what she had done? Wouldn’t she feel guilty?  
I felt angry, anxious and sad at the same time. I could not think of a reason why Yunho or any other human being would deserve this.  
I stared at him and wondered what he was dreaming about. Sometimes he spoke in his sleep back at their apartment. Then I was awakened by his angry voice screaming ‘no!’. It made me scared. When I asked him where he was dreaming about, he did not know anymore. I would like to know what he thinks. He can be so mysterious sometimes.   
‘Jae-,’ I heard. I came closer to Yunho.  
‘Ah, you’re awake?’   
He murmured something.  
‘Can you ask the nurse for an aspirin?’ he asked.  
‘Of course.’ I stood up and went my way to find the nurse.

\--

I walked through the long hallway. An old couple was sitting on a bench on the side of the hall. They watched my every move. The nurse, who was helping Yunho, suddenly came out of one of the rooms connected to the hallway.   
‘Ma’am,’ I addressed her and touched her on her shoulder, which made her turn around.   
‘Ah, Mr. Kim. Is everything alright?’  
‘Yunho asked me to get an aspirin for him,’ I told her.   
‘Here you go.’ She got something out of her pocket and handed it to me. It was a strip with two aspirins. ‘I always have a few with me. There are a lot of patients who ask for it.’  
‘Thank you.’  
‘Give him one. The other one he can take later. Is he not feeling well now?’  
‘He has been sleeping for hours and now he is awake and asked me for an aspirin.’  
‘I see.’  
I thanked her again and walked back through the long hallway to find Yunho’s room.  
‘Hyung!’ I was surprised and turned around. Junsu was running towards me, followed by Changmin and Yoochun, who walked with a fast pace.   
‘Hey, Su! Hi guys!’ I patted Junsu on his back.   
‘Is everything okay?’ I asked the three.  
‘Yes, how are you and Yunho? We are worried about him.’  
‘He is feeling much better now. I just got an aspirin for him.’   
We walked towards the room and greeted the security guard, who had been there for almost two days. I opened the door.   
‘Yun, wake up! Your lovely visitors are here,’ I joked. The other three followed me to his bed.  
‘Yunho!’ Yoochun sat next to the bed. Yunho his eyes opened slowly. ‘Are you okay?’ Junsu stroked Yunho’s head.   
‘Oh, hey everyone,’ Yunho said with a sleepy voice. Changmin helped Yunho to sit up straight in his bed. I pushed the aspirin and the water that still stood there in his hands. He smiled at me.  
‘Don’t worry, the water is all fine,’ I whispered to Yunho. He nodded once.   
‘Are you feeling better now, hyung?’ Junsu asked him. Yunho still had not answered the questions himself.  
‘I am feeling a lot better. I may probably leave in two days.’  
‘That’s good to hear,’ Changmin said and drunk from his bottle with energy drink.   
‘Was Jae good to you? Has he been a troublemaker?’ Yoochun asked Yunho and gave me a wink.   
‘Haha, no, he has been an angel. He takes really good care of me. I am thankful.’ He looked at me when he said his last sentence.   
‘Of course I’d take care of you, silly.’ I took the glass when he finished swallowing the aspirin and I put the glass on the bedside.   
‘Has the manager visited you?’ Changmin asked Yunho and me.  
‘Yes, he did,’ I replied and looked at Yunho, who was looking quite confused. ‘You were asleep. We didn’t want to wake you, Yun.’  
‘What did he tell you about the speech or the test results?’ Yunho asked me.  
All members were looking at me. They already knew the results, because the manager had told them.   
‘The manager said that or the doctor should tell you or himself.’  
‘So,’ Yunho swallowed, ‘You can’t tell me, although you know?’  
Yunho sounded sad, but I could hear some anger in his voice too. He wanted to know. If I was in his shoes, I wanted to know too, of course.   
‘I’m sorry. Shall I call the doctor? He promised to visit us in the afternoon, but he did not come.’ I said.  
I felt so guilty towards Yunho at that moment.  
‘If you want to..,’ Yunho said with a softer and gentler voice.   
I rushed out of the room. The doctor was nowhere to be found. 

\--

It took me a quarter of an hour to find him. When he saw me, he apologized. He forgot to check up on us and tell Yunho about the test results. I was quite pissed off.  
‘Í apologize deeply for what happened. It was my fault. I will check up on him right away.’ I followed the doctor to our room. Again he apologized for like a million times.   
‘I am so sorry, Mr. Jung. This shouldn’t have happened.’  
Yunho looked at him and smiled.   
‘Do not worry, it is quite alright.’ I was surprised, because he seemed a bit panicked and angry just now because of this matter.  
The doctor discussed the test results with Yunho. The other members and I listened as well. I looked at Yunho’s face. He showed little emotion, which meant he had his leader-face back on. The test results proved that there was something in the drink. Yunho’s stomach was almost fine now and the doctor asked how eating did go. Yunho replied it went well. His throat did not hurt anymore. All the vomiting was quite painful for his throat. I was glad it did not hurt anymore.   
‘Do you have any physical complaints?’  
‘I did have fever and took an aspirin and such, but I don’t have fever or pain anymore,’ Yunho answered.  
‘That is really good to hear.’ The doctor took a few notes.  
Some things were explained to Yunho and then, after again apologizing a hundred times, the doctor left again.  
‘Everything he told me, I expected already.’ Yunho moved his legs under the sheets. ‘I am sorry for offending you earlier, Jae.’   
‘It is okay,’ I said to him.  
We talked about the two days we were off. Yunho ordered us all to rest. ‘You should use those days to rest. I am better now, so don’t worry about me, please.’ He smiled to us all.  
Yunho’s phone suddenly rang. He was quite surprised, but seemed relieved after seeing the one who was calling him.   
‘I am taking it,’ he said to us. We did not know who it was. ’Hello umma,’ he began. It was his mother. ‘I am fine now. Yes. How are you doing? I understand. You will? Yes, it is a long journey. No, it’s fine, mom. How are dad and Ji Hye? What good of her. I can’t wait to see you. I love you too. Yes, I will rest. Bye mom.’  
‘How if your family?’ I asked after he hung up.   
‘She tried to call me earlier, but the phone was off. The manager had earlier told her what happened. She, dad and Ji Hye were very worried. It is quite a long journey to the hospital, so they rented a hotel room near this hospital. They will come during the visit-hours tomorrow.’  
Yunho sounded quite enthusiastic, he had not seen his family for a long time, just like the four of us. The cause was our busy schedules.  
‘I am eager to see them.’  
‘We understand, but please calm down a bit. You don’t want them to see you all tired because of your enthusiasm,’ I said to him. ‘You need to rest more than us.’  
We talked a lot, laughed at the jokes of Junsu and Changmin and around ten, Yoochun proposed to leave. They had a meeting with the manager early in the morning. Yoochun was the dad for two days, taking care of Junsu and Changmin. Normally, Yunho was the daddy, taking care of us. We depended on him. I tried to often help him as much as I could, the other members therefore often called me ‘umma’, as in mother. 

\--

When they had left, I put all drink glasses on a tray.   
‘It was good to have them here, wasn’t it?’  
‘Definitely, I miss them around me, even if it is for a few hours,’ Yunho replied.   
I sat down and got my phone out my pocket.   
‘Will you be here when my parents and my sister come to visit?’ he asked me.  
I looked up. ‘Yes, sure.’   
It has been a while since I saw them. His little sister would surely have grown in the time I had not seen her. His parents were quite strict, but especially his mother had a loving heart for her son.   
‘How are your parents and your sisters?’ he asked me after a while. I was busy with my phone just checking my e-mail. Some were fan mail, they had apparently found out my e-mail address.  
‘I called them four days ago. My mother said she was worried about me and I tried to calm her down. She watches our appearances on TV sometimes and she says I look tired.’ I had put my phone back into my pocket.  
‘Don’t deny that you aren’t tired, Jaejoongie,’ Yunho said and laughed cutely.   
‘I will not, don’t worry.’  
‘Good. So, rest.’ 

The atmosphere in the room was a bit weird. There was silence, we both did not say a thing. Sometimes it looked like Yunho was going to say something and opened his mouth, but then closed it again.   
‘Jae, you know…’  
I watched him playing with his fingers.  
‘Hmm?’  
‘You are really important to me.’  
I smiled at him. It came right from the heart.   
‘You did all rebellious to stay with me.’  
‘I was really worried.’  
‘Do you promise that you won’t leave me? Ever.’  
‘Of course,’ I smiled and squeezed him hand a little. ‘Why are you asking this all of a sudden, Yun?’  
‘It’s just that I need you.’


	5. Realization

Chapter 5

I never denied my feelings for Yunho. Since our trainee days, he had piqued my interest. I had changed compared to 2001, just like him. But he was definitely much more muscular and manly than I was.   
In the beginning of 2005, Yunho got a girlfriend. I felt jealous, to be frank. Their relationship did not last long. He was way too nice to her. Doing everything she wanted. The girl whined about Yunho being too busy and not giving her the attention she wanted.   
After the break-up, I showed a little affection towards Yunho. I am still not sure if that was unconsciously or consciously. However, Yunho did seem to like the attention I gave him. He had always been nice to me.   
It has been like this situation until this day. Yunho and I had become closer. I am sure the other members noticed this too.   
I was not sure if he came much closer to me because he saw me as a best friend or as a lover. He has had girlfriends before, just like me.   
His parents would not allow us to be together as a couple, I already knew that.   
Homosexuality was still like a taboo in South Korea. As a star, I could not let my life get ruined by the media.   
I just treated him as a best friend, not knowing if anything was going to happen. I waited because I felt a bit unsecure.

His parents and his sister came around 11 in the morning. His mom had bought him several vitamins, a basket with fruit and some clean clothes. His sister was only hanging around her big brother’s neck. She was a nice girl, I liked how she always smiled. His father’s face showed relief. He was glad nothing severe happened to his son and that he almost fully recovered. They greeted me, afterwards they asked where the others were.   
‘They are not here.’  
‘Jae has been taking care of me. He has not left the hospital in the days he is with me.’  
His parents looked quite surprised.  
‘We must thank you Jaejoong-shi,’ his mother said and squeezed in my cheek with her hand of which the nails were beautifully painted in a maroon color.   
‘It is alright, we have a lot of fun when he is not sleeping.’  
Ji Hye laughed.   
‘Does he sleep a lot?’ she asked me.  
‘He is like a koala, sleeping 22 of the 24 hours. He is such a boring guy,’ I joked.   
She laughed again.  
‘That is not true!’ Yunho protested, ‘You are making fun of me, Jaejoong!’ He grinned and pointed at me.

I offered his parents coffee and his sister some tea.  
‘I am so glad you take care of Yunho this much, but knowing your busy schedules, are you allowed to stay here this long?’ his father asked me.   
‘I got a few days off.’  
‘They did?! I’d never expect that.’  
‘I was quite surprised myself.’  
‘You do care a lot about Yunho. Thank you again,’ his mom said.  
‘It is really alright. Yunho is a good leader, he deserves to be taken well care of.’  
Yunho smiled at me, showing his white teeth.  
I was not really part of the conversation in the room. Ji Hye and the protective mother asked Yunho hundreds of questions. What exactly had happened and when he would inform the police.  
‘I will when I am fully recovered.’  
‘The world gets more absurd every second. I can’t imagine what kind of person the culprit is,’ his dad murmured.   
No one commented on what he said.   
‘We will soon be going somewhere with the band for some relaxation,’ Yunho commented after a while.  
‘Where are you going?’ Ji Hye asked and sat on the edge of Yunho’s bed.   
‘We don’t know yet, but I am sure it will be fun. It was Jaejoongie’s idea.’  
His parents looked at me.   
‘I thought it would be nice to do something fun with the five of us again. It has been a while since we went to Universal Studios in Japan, I believe that was the last time.’  
Yunho nodded, which meant I was right about that.  
‘That seems all nice to me, call me when you know where you are going, honey.’ His mother took Yunho’s hand.  
‘I will and make you all jealous.’ For fun, he stuck out his tongue to Ji Hye.  
’You deserve it, brother.’ She patted him on his shoulder.  
‘Thanks, sis. You’re too kind.’

They were nice people, caring extremely much about their son and brother. It reminded me of my parents and sisters. I was adopted when I was a baby. My biological mother could not take care of me any more financially. I ended up adopted in a loving family. The parents had eight daughters. The father cared about all his daughters but really wanted a son too. I became his son and I am thankful for that. They all gave me love. I have a good relationship with everyone in the family. They were proud of me, when I showed them our band’s first album. They really love me.

I looked back at the relieved family. I wished I could be with my family, together all around the table and my mum and me making dinner. She said that I was the only one who succeeded in cooking of the nine children, of which I was the only boy. Quite hilarious. The members often praised me for my cooking, I made me quite shy, but also very proud.

Yunho’s father almost dragged his wife and his daughter out of the hospital. He said they needed to leave to let the boy rest, although his ladies did not want to leave. It was quite funny to see. His mother had each time come up with another question to ask her son. It took Yunho’s dad half an hour to get them away together with him.   
‘Too bad that they had to leave,’ I heard Yunho say.   
‘Your mom is hilarious, each time asking another question hoping not to leave.’ He laughed. ‘Yeah, I noticed that too.’

\--

Yunho was allowed to leave the next day.   
That morning, I got his clean clothes out of the bag that his mother gave him.   
Yunho got up from the bed and walked towards me.   
‘Here are some clean clothes for you,’ I handed him the folded clothes, which he put down on the bed.   
‘I will put that on after I am done showering,’ he said and found his way to the bathroom.   
I waited. Yunho was feeling better. The visit of his family had certainly a positive effect on his health.   
I felt dirty too. I had been wearing the same clothes for four days. I bought some cheap boxer shorts downstairs at the clothing shop in the hospital. I decided to hide my identity, so I wore my cap and kept my head down. It was a big hospital. Its restaurant was huge.   
Talking about boxer shorts, I thought. I went through Yunho’s clothes and found some lovely red underwear. I laughed silently. Yunho forgot to take it to the bathroom. I decided to knock on the door of the bathroom.  
‘Yunho!’   
‘Yeah?’   
‘You forgot your boxershorts!’   
‘I see, wait for a moment!’  
I heard no more water falling. Some seconds later, I saw the door getting opened.   
‘Thanks, it is perhaps a good idea to wear this.’ He chuckled.  
The door opened from the inside. He stood there, half naked, wet, and only with a towel around his waist. His hand stuck out to me.   
‘You’re welcome,’ I said, giving him the boxer shorts, and closing the door with a racing heart.

I got everything from our room and made up the bed a little, so the room would look a bit organized.   
‘Shall we go? I can’t wait to see the other members,’ Yunho said when he was all dressed and ready to go. I nodded and looked up to him.  
I could not get that image of Yunho in a towel from my mind.  
‘Are you alright? You look really pale. You are not getting sick, are you?’ Yunho asked me.  
‘No, it’s nothing.’ He put an arm around my shoulder.   
‘I bet the hospital is making you sick, let’s get out quickly.’  
We said goodbye to the doctors and the nurses and thanked the guard, who had been guarding our room for those whole days.

The manager picked us up. It was quite a hectic scene with all those paparazzi, trying to make pictures of us.  
‘Get in quickly,’ the manager ordered us, when he put his car window down. We sat down in the backseat and the manager drove away with high speed.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N  
> What do you guys think about this chapter? Let me know! Thank you!


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